Tag: Emotions

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Ikigai, a simple word... and what great meaning it can give to your life

I remember that day years ago at the train station, on one of those trips that my work took me on. He used to go into the kiosks at the station to look at the books, and many times he ended up buying one.

One day I entered a store of things and clothes designed for traveling people. I noticed that there was a book section and I went straight there. The title especially caught my attention: “ikigai, the secrets of Japan for a long and happy life”.

ikigai, that word that I did not know, to begin with, it sounded nice and intriguing to me. So I decided to buy the book.

It is based on finding the reasons why the island of Okinawa, in Japan, has the highest longevity and happiness in the world. In addition to food, the simple life in the open air, etc. one of the keys seems to be the ikigai that rules his life.

According to the Japanese, all of us have our ikigai, which some philosophers translate as our “reason for being”, or “life purpose”.. Ikigai is within us and exploration requires deep and patient work to find it.

Ikigai is represented as a mandala of four circles as you can see in the figure below:

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Who are you?

So many years studying to work, but how little I learned about who I was. 

I remember as if it were yesterday the following coaching dynamic that I experienced as a coachee:

"Who are you?" My coach Marta asks me
"I'm Elsa." I answered

"Who are you?" Marta asks me again.

I knew that Marta (my coach) had listened to me and then I realized that she expected another response from me and I said: “I am Elsa, mother of three children”.

"Who are you?" Marta asks me again, looking me in the eye.

That third question was beginning to bother me, but I decided to answer the first thing that came to mind: “I am Elsa, a mother of three children and I am an engineer”.

"Who are you?" He asks me again seriously, looking into my eyes without saying a word.

Ufff that fourth question came to my heart like a spear, now writing it I remember it and I still feel the pain that was inside me. I was wondering who am I? but who am i? And, I decided to answer: “I am a person who has fought all his life to become someone, and now I don't know who I am”.

"Who are you?" Marta asks looking me in the eyes.

Already with tears in my eyes I answer: "A good person who has dreams and hopes to create a better world."

"Who are you?" Marta asks me again with a warmer tone.

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I am a teenager, should I know what my vocation is?

Consider by "vocation" what Ken Robinson, an expert in the development of human potential, considers "The Element". Your vocation or element would be that which converges between what you like to do and what you are good at (your talents).

Why is it important to know your calling or element? Knowing your calling or element is vital to understanding who you are and what you can do with your life.

It is the best way to find a job that satisfies you. The evidence is in current studies: more than 80% of people are not satisfied with their work. Do you want to be one of them?

We find ourselves in a volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous VUCA environment. We are living in a technological and social revolution, with changes in business models, changes in the way we relate to each other, and in general in the way we live. Oxford University estimates that 47% of current jobs will be gone in 20 years.

In this context of uncertainty and constant change, the way to ensure satisfaction in our lives is develop our element, what we are good at and like to do. This will allow us to put passion and effort into achieving our goals, differentiating ourselves from others, and that is what will lead to success..

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What people are happy?

As described in book "Flow" by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (by the way, a highly recommended book), and after numerous research studies, happiness is not the result of good luck or chance, it is not something that can be bought with money or power. It does not seem to depend on external events, but rather on how we interpret them.

As soon as we have our needs satisfied, new needs appear. Rising expectations are not the problem as long as we enjoy the fight that we must do along the way. The problem lies in people's obsession with what they want to achieve, that they no longer derive pleasure from the present.

Many people They reach forty or fifty years old realizing that a house in the suburbs, an expensive car, etc. are not enough to have satisfaction in life and peace of mind. And they continue to hope that by changing the external conditions of their lives they will find the solution to their problems. They believe that if they could earn more money, have a more understanding partner, have a better body, or be in better physical shape, they would be happier.

The reality is that satisfaction and quality of life do not depend directly on what others think of us, or on what we have materially; it depends on how we feel about ourselves and what happens to us.

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How are you?

If I ask you how are you?, what would you answer?

Your answer will probably be well, well, pulling, more or less, etc. You can do the test if you want with family or with your friends, you will see how little emotional language we have.

Most of us have been raised to be practically emotionally ignorant.

The other day I was having dinner with my partner and my children on a terrace. As we sometimes do when we sit down to dinner, we ask ourselves: how are you? Our answers must go beyond the typical good, etc. having to look for the emotion we feel. My daughter answered “calm”, my other daughter answered “satisfied”, my partner answered “happy”, and I didn't know what to answer.

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Emotions and feelings What is the difference?

The interpretation we make of emotions are feelings, which can be regulated by our thoughts.

Emotions direct our behavior, it is therefore important to recognize them, name them and learn to manage them.

On many occasions emotions are confused with feelings, however, emotions and feelings are far from each other.

The feeling arises from an expression from the Latin "sentire" which means to think, give an opinion or realize something. The concept of emotion comes from the Latin "emotĭo", which means "movement or impulse"

An emotion is a set of neurochemical and hormonal responses that unconsciously lead us to react in a certain way to an external or internal stimulus (such as a memory of a scene). 

The limbic system of the brain is the one in charge of generating this response in the organism. For example, if a person associates seeing an insect with its bite, the limbic system will cause him to experience fear. With this emotion the individual will react and act in an unconscious and spontaneous way.

Keep reading

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What are emotions?

The concept of emotion comes from the Latin “emotĭo”, which means “movement or impulse”. Emotions are reactions to a specific and temporary stimulus. That is, emotions have a stimulus, either internal or external, that generates them for what are considered physiological and immediate responses to a given situation. These reactions are given by the interpretation we make of the situation, which is usually so fast that we are not quite aware of it. The maximum expression of emotions occurs at the body level, noticing how the body cools or heats, tenses, etc.

Emotions are a set of hormonal responses that dispose us to action. These influence both the cognitive processes of the being and physical and mental health. An example would be happiness, which favors the creation of neurotransmitters such as serotonin that benefit the body, reinforcing it.

Do you make decisions solely based on reason or are you also driven by emotions? The energy of choice is emotional, this is the challenge of artificial intelligence.

We are emotional beings as well as rational beings. When we are born we are totally emotional, and we are acquiring skills to face life rationally. Emotions continue in our lives, but society has not taught us to recognize them, even repressing our emotions. We have been practically raised to be emotionally ignorant, when we are by nature emotional beings.

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