InnerTIC Experience: The ICT leaders' event for human engagement

InnerTIC Experience: The human commitment of ICT leaders

As Born Inner Experience?

I met Pedro García Aguado thanks to the vision of a friend and fellow missionary in my profession Paco Rivero to connect (Thanks Paco 🙏 ⭐). I won't forget that first meeting with Pedro. 

For me, Pedro, aside from being a great Olympic athlete, was someone I had seen on television, especially on the show "Big Brother." I remembered his empathy, his loving gaze, and his hope for the boys and girls who had behavioral problems. I remembered his heartfelt passion for wanting to help families improve their situation—situations that clearly went far beyond a few days on the television program. But yes, his soul was there, a soul I perceived as real because of the value he brought to the world.

When we met we started talking about the education of being, we both ended up playing with KitCo,We connected quantumly, to this day. Pedro became certified in the KitCo methodology, and experiencing its value, one day he told me: “Elsa, we need to take these KitCo experiences much further so that everyone can experience them.”. That phrase resonated with me, it filled me with energy. And so, on a day of inspiration, we thought: How can we make KitCo's methodology available to as many people as possible so that it brings value to them? And that's how it was born. INNER EXPERIENCE, a concept of meeting experiences to experience KitCo games for self-knowledge, personal growth and the development of emotional intelligence.

KitCo and Pedro García Aguado: first Inner Experience

And like the KitCo concept That's right, Games full of meaning and depth while also being fun and entertaining, We had to bring the meeting to a context of sharing, joyful, inspiring, transformative, knowledgeable and empowering. Pedro and I have a special passion for young people, so we decided to start there. And that's how our first meeting came about. INNER EXPERIENCE On October 5, 2024, a purposeful trip for young people took place, joined by more than 20 coaches certified in the KitCo methodology. And on this adventure, we were very fortunate to meet... Sergi Grimau, a soul needed to transform this world #LEAVING A MARK. (Thanks Sergi for appearing in this mission, now united forever) 🙏 ⭐ )

What was achieved at Inner Experience was magical; the young people's faces said it all. They had been valued as Unique people putting a name to their skills, they had understood the richness of diversity according to talent development, and how that leads us to a certain behavior, communication style, or other aspect, understanding The magic of knowing how to adapt to each other to improve our personal relationships, Whether it was with a partner, friends, colleagues, etc., they had reflected on the values that connect with them to help them make decisions in life that makes them feel greater satisfaction, breaking with limiting beliefs and reframing them to be empowering. They learned about emotions to understand that they are all necessary, that there are no good or bad ones, only comfortable or uncomfortable ones, but that all are necessary. The magic lies in accepting everything we feel and being able to extract useful information and thus regulate it., as well as learning to breathe for our greater well-being.

Of Inner Experience to InnerTIC Experience

The Inner Experience for young people was truly magical. And that magic was made possible by sponsoring companies like SIRT and Mediapro, among others. From there, a conversation between ICT leaders, Josep Ramon Ferrer Escoda, president of GRAUSTIC, and Luismi Roura, a KitCo certified professional, emerged a vision that went far beyond what I could have imagined: Bringing Inner Experience to the ICT sector.

That's how Josep Ramon Ferrer,Ferre, with complete courage, took the lead at InnerTIC Experience. A disruptive event, a unique day in Europe for ICT sector leaders to come together and experience things that connect us as people, that remind us The importance of leading in a human way, creating environments of trust and well-being, so that people feel seen, feel like themselves and raise their personal and team potential towards a common purpose.

Along the way he met Fernando Marín, head of the strategy and demand management department, of the Barcelona City Council and Susana Prado, The president of 22@network, who without hesitation said yes, committed to a day that put the human qualities of people at the center. (Thank you Ferre, Fernando and Susana for your courage and trust in choosing InnerTIC Experience)  🙏 ⭐). 

And I, filled with admiration for these people who had dared to dream something that even I myself would not have been capable of dreaming, and with admiration for the courage they had to do something so disruptive, I couldn't let them down. So, accepting my fears and preparing myself well to do it in the best way possible, I decided to go for it. Yes! Let's do it! And of course, for Pedro it was a resounding "yes, Elsa!" It's a wonderful challenge, let's do it! (Thanks, Pedro, for joining me in this endeavor!) 🙏 ⭐). 

And of course, the Inner team couldn't be left out; their enormous courage, professionalism, and passion for adding value was a "YES, I'M IN!!" (Right now I have goosebumps, thank you team Inner for being there). 

A team of over 25 professionals certified in the KitCo methodology makes all this magic possible. Inner Experience wouldn't be possible without them all. (Thank you, Team Inner!) 🙏 ⭐)!

Thus, united to GRAUSTIC talent pool, of which I am a part, there was a joint commitment to carry it out.

InnerTIC Experience

We got to work, creating the content, adapting the messages of the Inner Experience event for young people, towards Human leadership, team cohesion in environments of trust, and an organizational culture of recognition. for InnerTIC Experience.

With little time for social media posts, the team started encouraging participants to sign up for the event. In just a few hours, we had almost 100 participants registered. Interestingly, many of them didn't know where they were going; some came because Ferre had told them, "You have to come," even though they had previously stated that this wasn't for them. But they trusted Ferre and stayed until the end, full of energy and sharing their personalities.

I have no words to describe what happened at Innertic experience, ineffable. The images circulating on social media speak for themselves. 

The Inner Experience concept is about creating a context to take us out of autopilot, to leave our professional roles and enter into the human quality that characterizes us as people. I like to say that society is becoming more humane thanks to technology, as it awakens hidden needs in society that necessarily lead to... The present and future are becoming increasingly technological, and humanity is becoming increasingly humane..

How do we create that context to let go of roles and enter the human realm? Well exciting, Because we are exciting and emotional beings, as one of the speakers reminded us, Uril Pujol Sans. That's how, through music, thanks to our wonderful DJ Ernesto, from the naturalness of the people who are part of it, from the beautiful energy of connection between the whole Inner team, and from some inspiring first talks that make us connect with our inner selves linking heart and mind as another speaker reminded us Jaume Gurt, We make it possible.

Once the participants have disconnected from that autopilot and connected with their more human side, that's when we go to live experiences of reflection, inspiration, and knowledge, etc. In this way, we specifically formed four groups of more than 40 participants each, accompanied by Inner coaches, who rotated through the different activities organized in each of the four rooms: talents, values, emotions and communication.

In each room, what you experience is something magical, in the emotions room People talking about emotions, about the importance of recognizing and validating them, because We cannot leave our emotions at home when we go to work, Emotions are an integral part of our lives, influencing our behavior, our communication, our decisions, and even buying and selling. We generally talk about assertive communication to improve interpersonal relationships, but we don't work on naming our emotions, one of the first rules of assertiveness: focusing on what you feel without judging the other person, respecting yourself and others. We live in a time of constant and rapid change. Technological evolution doesn't affect everyone equally; some may feel enthusiasm, others fear. It's important to be able to give space to these emotions, to validate them, whatever they may be, and to be able to... Accompanying them is the key to personal and collective well-being.

In the talent room We become aware that all people have talents, We name these skills, which helps us to shed light on them and raise awareness to help us achieve our goals.. We understand that the richness of diversity It lies in understanding that each person is unique, and that depending on the focus of their talent development, their behavior and communication will be one way or another, and that The magic lies in knowing how to adapt to one another.. We also realized the importance of creating a culture of recognition as the engine of the motivation, because we are usually used to dedicating space to what doesn't work and not so much to what does work.

In the stock exchange we understand that It's not enough to define some values and post them on the web or on the wall of the company, which must define behaviors aligned with these values to remember them and be aware and consistent in our daily lives. Because consistency is what makes the difference in creating spaces of trust..

And precisely from confidence That's what we valued in the communications room. Trust is the foundation of everything; we like to say that“Anything not built on trust risks breaking down.”From this place we invite people to trust, because you have to believe it to create it, That's one of my driving phrases; anyone who knows me knows that this phrase motivates me to achieve my goals. If I don't believe, I can hardly create them.

Let's pause for a moment to remember something obvious. What happens in environments or teams where there is no trust? Without trust Communication is not fluid, is usually defensive, Innovation is stifled by fear of making a mistake, it is less productive because it's slower, because you don't trust. I'm keeping an eye on things that slow down the productive path. But above all, Without trust, people cannot be themselves. We also discussed the responsibilities of both the sender and the receiver in carrying out a effective and collaborative communication, giving power to the active listening Y to not interpreting but rather making sure that the message is the one that was intended to be conveyed, using the power of questioning for this purpose. We are so unaccustomed to asking questions so as not to interpret!

The experiences at InnerTIC Experience are truly breathtaking; this would not have been possible without the participation of everyone. industry leaders that have trusted at such an event, that They have opened themselves up to sharing from the most human side and with their beautiful energy have made it a success. (Thank you leaders for your trust and for sharing in InnerTIC Experience, thank you for your human commitment) 🙏 ⭐). 

Finally, after everything we've experienced, we all return to the auditorium together and summarize key messages from the experience, remembering that As leaders, we all have the power to write a more humane digital future. We conclude with an inspiring intervention, in this case from two leading women who put emotions at the heart of leadership: Mar Porras Y Emma Giner, We were able to experience a beautiful recognition of a member of Mar's team, grateful for a leadership that speaks of emotions. 

It's visible in their faces; the connections have already been made., People look at each other, person to person., and Together, we share a common mission to make this a better world, with more humane leadership hand in hand with the evolution of technology.

And since it is a celebratory context, We're celebrating by raffling off prizes!, Books, self-discovery games, and even rafting trips and camping nights. This camping prize was a huge success; they even proposed an Innertic Experience at the Ainet campsite (the prize sponsor)! And that really resonated! Can you imagine a gathering of leaders having these kinds of meaningful and fun experiences in a natural setting, even staying overnight? Wow! I can!

And finally, InnerTIC Experience came to a close with the naturalness of people like the Secretary of Telecommunications, Albert Tort, Agustí Abelaira, gerent of resources and digital transformation of the Barcelona City Council, Emili Rubió, CIO of Barcelona City Council, Isabel Sabadi, CEO of 22@Network,  Susana Prado, president of 22@network, and Josep Ramon Ferrer, president of GRAUSTIC and the driving force behind the "it can be done!" team, along with the entire Inner team: Pedro García Aguado, Sergi Grimau, Luismi Roura, David Rovira, María Molina, Susana Cabos, Olga Montaña, Marta Larraz, Marta Picart, Esther Rocasalbas, Ana Podadera, Roger Casellas, Esther Izquierdo, Olga Peláez, Jordi Puig, Mar Porras, Vero Cuenca, Pilar Papiol, Ada Morey, Amaya Ortells and myself, Elsa Giménez, a dreamer who wants to make this a better world. 

And that's how we end the day. EXCITING, DISRUPTIVE and that has created something very big and that only begins here.

THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN PART OF IT, FROM THE ORGANIZATION, COACHES, AND ABOVE ALL PARTICIPANTS, THANK YOU FOR TRUSTING AND SHARING, THANK YOU FOR YOUR HUMAN COMMITMENT.

THE DIGITAL FUTURE IS CREATED FROM HUMAN CONNECTION

INNERTIC EXPERIENCE

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Depression doesn't care about intelligence or courage.

Depresión

One of the biggest obstacles for those struggling with depression is the associated stigma. Depression doesn't discriminate based on intelligence or courage. Combatting the misconception that depression is a weakness is essential to fostering the recovery of those who need help.

Clinically, depression is “a common mental disorder characterized by persistent sadness, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, fatigue, and poor concentration.” Depending on the individual, depression can be chronic or episodic, and there are three levels of severity: mild, moderate, and severe. It is estimated that 3.81% of the population experiences depression., including the 5% rate for adults (4% among men and 6% among women) and the 5.7% rate for adults over 60 years of age. More than 700,000 people die by suicide each year. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death among 15- to 29-year-olds.World Health Organization ).

According to the study “What do Spaniards know about depression?” 49% of people attribute it to weakness of character.  Depression is a struggle that affects all kinds of people from all walks of life. Even those considered the strongest and most capable can find themselves facing this internal battle. Depression doesn't discriminate; it's a complex illness that can affect anyone, regardless of their achievements, successes, or apparent abilities. Mental health is not a sign of weakness, but an integral part of the human experience.

Seeking professional help is a sign of strength and self-awareness. Accepting that you need help is a courageous and crucial step on the road to recovery. Therapy, support groups, and, in some cases, medication are tools for recovering from depression. Learning to communicate feelings and seeking professional support can make a significant difference.

Depression does not define a person; it is only a part of their story. Many well-known people have experienced depression and share valuable lessons from their life stories about fighting this battle with resilience and advocating for mental health. Some examples include:

Andrés Iniesta. He has commented on how living with depression has made him a better person and helped him value what is truly important:

  • “Depression has helped me not just to be myself, but to be something better than myself.”
  • “Over time, life teaches you that depression and mental illness can affect anyone. It’s not about material things. I can have all the cars in the world and everything I want, but it’s still difficult to face life’s problems.”

Bruce Springsteen. It shows us that the battle against depression involves trying to survive each day with good resources and a mind that chooses hope over darkness. It shares some inspiring messages about her depression:

  • “Depression can be like a shadow that follows you, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Accepting help and sharing your experiences can be the first step toward healing. Music, art, and connecting with others are powerful tools for overcoming dark times. Remember, you are not alone on this journey.”
  • “The most important thing is to talk about and name what hurts us. I feel bad because…,” “what I’m feeling now is,” “this has happened and what worries me is…” We need to define in detail what we are experiencing, recognize the presence of those emotions and states, and then work on it. Just naming what is eating away at us, without putting up barricades, already sets us free.”.
  • “Music is a refuge for sensitive, yet tormented, souls.”.

Selena Gomez. The depression she experienced has led her to want to help others through her messages of hope about this situation:

  • “Depression doesn’t define who you are. It’s something you’re just experiencing right now in your life. Things can change and get better. Help is available, and you deserve to be helped and loved.”.
  • “Sometimes you have to stop looking for answers and start looking for peace. Accepting that it’s okay not to have all the answers can be the first step to healing.”
  • Self-acceptance is a journey. Don't demand perfection of yourself. Learn to embrace your ups and downs and give yourself the love and understanding you deserve.”
  • “Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Vulnerability is a sign of strength, not weakness. We all need support at some point, and that's okay..”
  • “Recovery isn’t linear, but every little step counts. Celebrate your achievements, even the small ones, and remember that you’re making progress, even when it seems difficult.”

“Vulnerability is a sign of strength, not weakness. We all need support at some point, and that’s okay.”

Lady Gaga. Her messages about depression have been powerful in fostering openness toward mental health. Some of them are:

  • “Sadness is a reminder of how deep love can be. But it also reminds you how much love you deserve, starting with loving yourself.”.
  • “Sometimes, you just need to remind yourself that you are valuable. Even on days when you don’t feel that way. Remember that you are in this world for a reason, and that the bravest thing you can do is allow yourself to be happy.”.

Adele. Depression influenced her music and her life, telling us a story of acceptance and resilience:

  • “Every tear teaches something that a smile can never achieve. I learned to embrace my tears as part of my journey of growth.”.
  • “Don’t be afraid to seek solace in music.”.
  • “Accepting your imperfections is an act of self-love”
  • “Our scars from depression tell our story of resilience.”.

“Our scars from depression tell our story of resilience”

Opening up and sharing the battles each person fights with their psychological problems is a way of collectively sharing experiences, becoming aware that all people can go through the same thing, as human beings that we all are.

Strength and inspiration come from embracing vulnerability, seeking help, and advocating for the importance of mental health in society.

Love and reason: how to balance emotions and logic in love

This article means a lot to me. If you have read the article: "What happens when we love too much?", you will be able to sense that something happened in my life that led me to suffer loving too much. Well, that's how it is, and here I try to explain my learning and what has led me to understand part of what happened, in case it can somehow inspire your life or that of someone close to you.

To begin with, it is not strange if I tell you that love chooses us. No.or we are always free to fall in love with whom we would really like, and sometimes we fall in love with someone we know is not the person we want as a life partner. That choice that love makes can be the appropriate one or, on the contrary, it can bring us numerous sufferings.

Why do we have so little control in emotional matters, why can't we be more rational? What happens with the phenomenon of falling in love?

For a long time, love was linked to the heart, as if this organ were the maximum -or probably the only- protagonist of the sensations experienced when falling in love. However, neuroscience has brought new truths.

the science of falling in love

According to science, falling in love is a neurological process that occurs in the brain and involves different parts of it: tegmental area, nucleus accumbens, hypothalamus, prefrontal cortex, and amygdala. Releasing chemical compounds like dopamine and oxytocin.

 

In love, he tegmental area is activated generating dopamine (neurotransmitter related to pleasure, responsible for good humor). In it nucleus accumbens we find neurons endowed with dopamine receptors, acting as a mediator in the reward process. It is in charge of making us feel pleasure, pay attention and maintain the motivation to pursue and obtain rewards.

Curiously, those same brain areas are the ones that are activated during drug use. The nucleus accumbens is related to pleasure and addictions, it provides us with a "shot" of happiness. Is that why love can be addictive?

Have you experienced the feeling of being “hooked” on that person? Hence the phrase: "Love is like a drug."

In turn, dopamine deactivates part of the prefrontal cortex of the brain, responsible for reasoning, risk analysis and decision making. It's like turning it off, so we stop seeing the flaws of that person we have fallen in love with and focus only on the good.  

Has it ever happened to you that there are things that that person does that you don't like? but do you feel like you don't process them and act like you don't really do them? This is where phrases we have heard many times come from, such as: “love is blind”.

The chemistry of falling in love causes a part of the brain responsible for reasoning and decision-making to be deactivated

The hypothalamus generate oxytocin, hormone or neurotransmitter related to the feeling of trust, attachment and bond to other human beings. And it's oxytocin that makes the amygdala, zone of fear and defenses, "relax".

Have you seen the things you would be able to do for love? We could say that falling in love makes us more intrepid people.

And the latter, together with the action of dopamine, deactivating a part of the prefrontal cortex (responsible for analyzing risks and making decisions), means that during falling in love we live in a situation of certain blindness and a lack of logic and reasoning.

Over time (it can be up to three years in women and a few months in men) the brain gets used to these feelings of being close to the person you love and dopamine is no longer the predominant neurotransmitter or hormone, giving way to oxytocin. In this way, since there is not this great generation of dopamine, the prefrontal cortex is reactivated and we begin to see things more logically”. Although, beware, oxytocin has created and continues to create that attachment and bond to the other person.

 

An example

I remember one day, in our beginnings, that I went to look for him at the airport. He had come from a long work trip (they were two weeks that seemed like forever :)), I was looking forward to seeing him and I agreed to go look for him. I woke up at dawn, I arrived at the airport very sleepy but very excited to see him. All that joint feeling made her not pay attention to where she had parked.

When he arrived we hugged and hand in hand we went to the parking lot to get the car. When we got to the car park, I suddenly realized that I didn't know where my car was, and I said so: “oops, I don't know where my car is”. And he rudely let go of my hand and said: “are you stupid or what! How do you not remember where you left the car? You are very stupid!” And I told him with a nervous and embarrassed giggle: “no, I don't remember, it's just that I came in half asleep and excited to see you and I didn't notice where I parked, I'm sorry”. He answers me: “You can't be more retarded! And on top of that you laugh! Give me the car keys, now!

Luckily I quickly found the car keys, because he was terribly angry. He took the keys in a rude manner and left with his suitcase. He started walking fast and told me not to follow him. So I stayed there, waiting to see what was going to happen. After a few minutes he appeared with my car, and stopped in front of me. He yelled at me: “get on”. I was there waiting, I was already sad, I was no longer excited, I remember being sad, very sad.

Later he came: “I'm sorry, I was tired and I wanted to leave”, and once again, I, again, in love, wanting to think that what had happened, justifying his behavior because he was tired. Unfortunately, these types of situations were not isolated cases and without a doubt there was something in me that made me feel that I was not on the right path if I accepted this type of behavior from my partner in my life. But I preferred not to think too much and move on with the person who also made me feel wonderful moments. The dopamine had me in control. 

Over time, when dopamine is no longer being produced in as many amounts, you can see things more clearly, and that's when you know you have to let go because it's not that kind of constant suffering you want in your life, but on the other hand the oxytocin makes you feel very attached to it. 

The message

My 18-year-old daughter was asking me: what can be done to not let dopamine get you hooked and to be able to make rational decisions?

My answer is the following: know yourself well, know what you want in your life and what you don't want, make a list describing the limits that you set for yourself about what you accept in your life and what you don't. Only then, if you see them in writing and they happen to you, you will become more aware that you don't want that in your life and it will be more difficult for you to let dopamine blind you. It is not easy to get out of that situation, but it is possible. It starts with you, getting to know yourself better, discovering all the value you have inside, because yes, you are a unique person. Analyze what makes you feel good and what doesn't, and set limits in your life, don't let anyone make you live the life you don't want for yourself or yours. “

kitco products

KitCo Professional

Final price

119 €

Complete KitCo: Cards of Talents, Values and Emotions, with all the dynamics and games. Designed for personal development professionals or human resources. 

Professional KitCo It has two main functionalities:

(1) As a visual support tool to make your own dynamics as a professional. you have 135 cards with inspiring images on one side and the concept and definition on the other. 33 cards of talents, 50 cards of emotions and 57 letters of values. Available in several languages: Spanish, Catalan and English.

(2) As a tool to carry out different individual, groupal or team dynamics. You will find dynamics such as: discover your talents, discover your ideal profession, be aware of your genuine values ​​and how present you are in life, know the values ​​of your team or company that allow consistency in decision-making, find your «ikigai”, purpose in life, recognize and manage your emotions, dynamics of coherence with your essence, among others, etc.

Designed to carry out the dynamics from a complete reflection, converging the work of the right hemisphere (emotion, intuition) through the inspiring images of the cards, with the work of the left hemisphere (logic, reason) through the reading of the concepts and definitions.

Complete KitCo containing:

  • 33 talent cards
  • 1 talent test model
  • 57 value cards
  • 1 value test model
  • 50 emotion cards
  • 1 board – Emotional Map
  • 1 guide book of dynamics and games        (8 sets of emotions, dynamics of talents, dynamics of values, dynamics "discovering my profession", dynamics "coherence with my essence", dynamics "discovering my ikigai", Annex of talents vs professions, etc.)
  • 1 anti-stress rubber ball
  • Portable container case

Complete KitCo Video

Video of Emotions Cards

Video of “Emotional Map” Dynamic

Support video to fill in the Talent Dynamics template

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Support video to fill in the Dynamics of Values template. 

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Support video to fill in the template of the Dynamics of Coherence with Being.

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Soon new videos 🙂 

KitCo Families

Final price

89 €

Complete KitCo: Cards of Talents, Values and Emotions, with all the dynamics and games. Designed for families. The difference with respect to the professional KitCo is the way of approaching the dynamics described in Your KitCo Guide, as well as the language used. 

KitCo Families is an inspiring game to spend moments with your partner, family, friends, groups or teams that encourage the education of the self, through meaningful conversations and the practice of effective communication.

KitCo families provide a special connection between parents and childrenfriends or teams, discovering aspects of themselves and of others that they did not know and that are necessary for a life in harmony.

Until now, educational models have been based on education to acquire knowledge and skills to work. KitCo wants to introduce you in a playful, simple, creative and inspiring way to acquire knowledge and skills to be, improving satisfaction in your life with better mental health and better interpersonal relationships.

It is based on three fundamental aspects: talents, values and emotions; differentiating especially two blocks:

(i) a first playful block to play games with your partner, family, friends, group or team: game of emotions, game of values and game of talents.

(ii) a second block of reflection for individual self-knowledge with dynamics such as: discover your talents, discover your ideal profession, discover your ikigai, be aware of your genuine values that, having them present in your life, give you more satisfaction, learn to recognize the emotions in you and manage them etc.

KitCo Families contains:

  • 33 talent cards
  • 1 talent test model
  • 57 value cards
  • 1 value test model
  • 50 emotion cards
  • 1 board – Emotional Map
  • 1 guide book of dynamics and games        (8 sets of emotions, dynamics of talents, dynamics of values, dynamics "discovering my profession", dynamics "coherence with my essence", dynamics "discovering my ikigai", Annex of talents vs professions, etc.)
  • 1 anti-stress rubber ball
  • Portable container case

Complete KitCo Video

Video of Emotions Cards

Video of “Emotional Map” Dynamic

Support video to fill in the Talent template

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Support video to fill in the Values template. 

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Support video to fill in the template of the dynamics of Coherence with the Being.

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Soon new videos 🙂 

Emotions Game

Final price

35 €

KitCo with the game cards and Emotions dynamics (Talents and Values are not included).

The Emotions Game It is designed for anyone who wants to develop their emotional intelligence, or that of their children or teams. In starting by acquiring emotional language and recognizing emotions in oneself and in others in order to manage them. Improving both your mental health and interpersonal relationships.

The goal of the Emotions Game is to take a step forward in the development of emotional intelligence. To play both alone, as a couple, family, friends or team.

Contains:

  • 50 emotion cards with inspiring images on one side and the concept of emotion and its definition on the other.
  • 1 game board: Emotional Map
  • Instructions for 8 emotion games to play as a couple, family, friends or teams. For all ages, from children to teenagers and adults.
  • Individual dynamics for reflection.
  • In various languages: Spanish – English, Catalan – English, Spanish – Catalan.

The delivery time for KitCo products is from 24 to 48 hours, on working days.

Choose the language of your KitCo in the comments during the purchase process (Spanish – English, Catalan – English, Spanish – Catalan)

How to fight together against violence?

I have decided to write this article because I feel the need to do my bit so that one day violence will not be necessary. I know it sounds utopian, but I always say that you have to believe it to create it. On the other hand, I am convinced that the only solution is education.

The evolution of science, and of life in general, now allows us to learn things that we were not taught in schools. Learning that leads us to a better accompaniment to our children, for their better emotional and cerebral development.

Regarding the education of parents to children, there is something that has always touched my heart: understanding what people consider discipline.

The word “discipline” comes from the Latin disciple, which means "disciple, pupil, student". Discipline can be understood as the practice to achieve a result in a coordinated and orderly manner. And discipline can also be understood, as is done in the military, as compliance with the rules of behavior to maintain order and subordination among the members of a body, in which absolute obedience is required.

I would like to understand What is discipline in the educational field for most people?. Is it a practice that demands obedience, and, if not, does it result in punishment? Or is it a practice of accompaniment in a coordinated and orderly manner based on affection, affection, respect, empathy, coherence and emotional connection?

for me without a doubt discipline in education must be related to teaching from affection, empathy, respect and connection with our children.  Making the bad behavior of our children situations to create skills and not generate fear.

Some fathers or mothers spend a large part of their day to day expecting their children to do what they want them to do, to shut up, to stop crying, not to have tantrums or get angry, to do their homework or stop fighting with their siblings... And for this they use punishment, yelling and some fathers or mothers even use physical aggression. 

For those who even consider whipping in discipline, I would say: Do you really want to show your children that the way to resolve conflicts is to cause physical pain to someone who cannot defend himself against you? Do you really think we should teach our children that the way to resolve conflicts is by hitting? Wouldn't you like to live in a less violent world? Do you think that educating with violence can lead to a less violent world?

And for those who go to the isolation of their children, locking them somewhere in the house, I would say: what do you want to achieve? Do you think that your son will calm down and reflect on his behavior feeling alone and that you are not by his side to help him? When a child is punitively isolated, what they are thinking is: “how bad is my “father or mother” for having punished me and locked me up here.” This type of punishment makes children more angry, with which they end up being less able to control themselves and think about what they have done.  

A discipline based on fear and punishment can be effective at the moment, but in the short and long term they do not serve the good development of our children. We are teaching them that power and control are the best mechanisms to get others to do what we want them to do.. With this type of discipline based on fear and control, the child does not learn what he can improve on, he only learns that not obeying leads to something he does not like, that hurts him and that he does not want for himself. We are teaching our children to obey, instead of learning to make decisions.

When we make children experience fear or pain, we provoke a more reactive and primitive response in our children's brains. And we do not allow the most receptive and reflective part of the brain to be activated and developed, which leads children to make healthier and more flexible decisions, as well as to better control their emotions.

Children must be able to be and feel at all times without being afraid of their parents' reaction or disapproval; Although they know that what they have done to the father or mother has not liked, they know that they are by their side to help them improve, from respect, empathy, connection, and not from resentment and control.

When a father or mother educates in fear, they make their child enter a state of confusion and disorganized attachment. The child wants to escape from the father or mother who generates fear or pain, but on the other hand, he looks for security in that attachment figure. An unsolvable paradox, generating stress, cortisol, in the child and causing negative impacts on their brain development.  

Children often engage in inappropriate behaviors because they have not yet developed the necessary skills. By behaving inappropriately, they are actually telling us what they need to improve on. Let's take advantage of these moments as opportunities for knowledge and growth.

In general, misbehavior is because a child has had a bad time in a certain situation, and feels these strong feelings that he does not know how to manage, and misbehavior occurs as a simple consequence of it.

His actions, especially when he loses control, are a message that he needs our help.. For this reason we must connect with him, so that he feels that he can have our help, even if we did not like what he has done. To connect we must empathize with him, validate his emotions from understanding, and from there we can talk about what has happened and how to improve it.

The primary objective of education should not be that our children do what we want them to do because we are watching them or telling them what to do; but it must be to get them to learn to make positive and productive decisions for themselves. When we give our son the opportunity to decide how he should act, rather than simply telling him what to do, he becomes a more responsible person when it comes to making decisions.

Many times we are the fathers or mothers themselves who act like this out of fear, thinking that, if we do not punish, we will scream, etc. we are going to fail as parents and it is going to get out of hand. Now I ask you: if you were certain that, educating without fear or control, if not from respect and empathy, you would be able to get children who are responsible with themselves and with others, would you do it? why do not you try it?

There are better alternatives than fear or physical or psychological punishment; alternatives linked to the behavior or needs of the child, alternatives that are based on principles that correspond to value systems and respect for our children, as individuals that they are. In future articles that I will write we will see examples of some of these alternatives. For the time being, here are some books that I think may be of use to you:Educate without losing your nerves” by Tania Garcia, “discipline without tears” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne, “The boy who defeated witches and dragons” by Fernando Alberca, “How to talk so your kids will listen and how to listen so your kids will talk to you” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, “The four key system” by Patricia Robledo and José Feliciano, “Foundations of nonviolent communication” of Pilar de la Torre.

I know that it is not easy to be a father or a mother, nobody taught us. The evolution of neuroscience and psychology give us the necessary information to better accompany our children in their best brain and emotional development. Why not spend some time learning how to do it better. It is the best investment you can make for your children. The sooner the better.

kitco products

KitCo Professional

Final price

119 €

Complete KitCo: Cards of Talents, Values and Emotions, with all the dynamics and games. Designed for personal development professionals or human resources. 

Professional KitCo It has two main functionalities:

(1) As a visual support tool to make your own dynamics as a professional. you have 135 cards with inspiring images on one side and the concept and definition on the other. 33 cards of talents, 50 cards of emotions and 57 letters of values. Available in several languages: Spanish, Catalan and English.

(2) As a tool to carry out different individual, groupal or team dynamics. You will find dynamics such as: discover your talents, discover your ideal profession, be aware of your genuine values ​​and how present you are in life, know the values ​​of your team or company that allow consistency in decision-making, find your «ikigai”, purpose in life, recognize and manage your emotions, dynamics of coherence with your essence, among others, etc.

Designed to carry out the dynamics from a complete reflection, converging the work of the right hemisphere (emotion, intuition) through the inspiring images of the cards, with the work of the left hemisphere (logic, reason) through the reading of the concepts and definitions.

Complete KitCo containing:

  • 33 talent cards
  • 1 talent test model
  • 57 value cards
  • 1 value test model
  • 50 emotion cards
  • 1 board – Emotional Map
  • 1 guide book of dynamics and games        (8 sets of emotions, dynamics of talents, dynamics of values, dynamics "discovering my profession", dynamics "coherence with my essence", dynamics "discovering my ikigai", Annex of talents vs professions, etc.)
  • 1 anti-stress rubber ball
  • Portable container case

Complete KitCo Video

Video of Emotions Cards

Video of “Emotional Map” Dynamic

Support video to fill in the Talent Dynamics template

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Support video to fill in the Dynamics of Values template. 

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Support video to fill in the template of the Dynamics of Coherence with Being.

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Soon new videos 🙂 

KitCo Families

Final price

89 €

Complete KitCo: Cards of Talents, Values and Emotions, with all the dynamics and games. Designed for families. The difference with respect to the professional KitCo is the way of approaching the dynamics described in Your KitCo Guide, as well as the language used. 

KitCo Families is an inspiring game to spend moments with your partner, family, friends, groups or teams that encourage the education of the self, through meaningful conversations and the practice of effective communication.

KitCo families provide a special connection between parents and childrenfriends or teams, discovering aspects of themselves and of others that they did not know and that are necessary for a life in harmony.

Until now, educational models have been based on education to acquire knowledge and skills to work. KitCo wants to introduce you in a playful, simple, creative and inspiring way to acquire knowledge and skills to be, improving satisfaction in your life with better mental health and better interpersonal relationships.

It is based on three fundamental aspects: talents, values and emotions; differentiating especially two blocks:

(i) a first playful block to play games with your partner, family, friends, group or team: game of emotions, game of values and game of talents.

(ii) a second block of reflection for individual self-knowledge with dynamics such as: discover your talents, discover your ideal profession, discover your ikigai, be aware of your genuine values that, having them present in your life, give you more satisfaction, learn to recognize the emotions in you and manage them etc.

KitCo Families contains:

  • 33 talent cards
  • 1 talent test model
  • 57 value cards
  • 1 value test model
  • 50 emotion cards
  • 1 board – Emotional Map
  • 1 guide book of dynamics and games        (8 sets of emotions, dynamics of talents, dynamics of values, dynamics "discovering my profession", dynamics "coherence with my essence", dynamics "discovering my ikigai", Annex of talents vs professions, etc.)
  • 1 anti-stress rubber ball
  • Portable container case

Complete KitCo Video

Video of Emotions Cards

Video of “Emotional Map” Dynamic

Support video to fill in the Talent template

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Support video to fill in the Values template. 

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Support video to fill in the template of the dynamics of Coherence with the Being.

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Soon new videos 🙂 

Emotions Game

Final price

35 €

KitCo with the game cards and Emotions dynamics (Talents and Values are not included).

The Emotions Game It is designed for anyone who wants to develop their emotional intelligence, or that of their children or teams. In starting by acquiring emotional language and recognizing emotions in oneself and in others in order to manage them. Improving both your mental health and interpersonal relationships.

The goal of the Emotions Game is to take a step forward in the development of emotional intelligence. To play both alone, as a couple, family, friends or team.

Contains:

  • 50 emotion cards with inspiring images on one side and the concept of emotion and its definition on the other.
  • 1 game board: Emotional Map
  • Instructions for 8 emotion games to play as a couple, family, friends or teams. For all ages, from children to teenagers and adults.
  • Individual dynamics for reflection.
  • In various languages: Spanish – English, Catalan – English, Spanish – Catalan.

The delivery time for KitCo products is from 24 to 48 hours, on working days.

Choose the language of your KitCo in the comments during the purchase process (Spanish – English, Catalan – English, Spanish – Catalan)

A Christmas forever

The end of the year is approaching and with it the reflections of many people. I would like to share mine, in case it can be an inspiration to even one person.

Those of you who know me know that I am an engineer by training and that I am quite skeptical about everything that is not scientifically proven. However, I am curious and I like to listen, understand people and learn.

In 2018, at a meal with more engineers, they talked about their experiences with astrological charts made by an astrologer and mathematician girl. The energy with which they explained it and the great experience lived touched me so much that I decided to ask for an appointment for that astrologer and mathematician girl, I admit that out of pure curiosity.

The experience was significant, she talked to me about things that had happened in my life (including dates) without knowing anything about me; the only thing he knew was my name, my date, time and place of birth. It is true that you can get an idea of the identity of people just with their name and what they transmit on the networks. But some of the things that she told me are very intimate things that I don't usually post on the internet.

I remember that as she was talking I wanted to give her feedback and explain things to her about what she was saying, but no, she was limited to explaining my birth chart, not having a conversation with me, or psychology, or coaching. This surprised me because she transmitted what she saw in my letter without wanting to know if I agreed or not, or to be able to influence what I could tell her, so that she could make her argument. It was really a curious experience.

Commenting on my astral future, he told me that from the year 2021 my life would go through some wonderful years, since Saturn (which apparently is the planet that makes you wake up with painful situations) had already devastated several aspects of my life in this last stage.

Without going into whether this experience of the birth chart made sense or not, what is certain is that I was left with the hope and illusion that it would.

And now I find myself taking stock of this year and thinking… can I consider that it has been a wonderful year for me?

And that's when I start to reflect on what wonderful means to me. And the following question comes to me: if it is painful or hard, can it be wonderful?

I suppose that each person will be able to interpret things differently. In the end my answer to these questions is yes.

In my case, yes, because I know that pain or hardness takes me down the path to where I want to be.

That road is full of obstacles, and many of them unexpected, but I know my place, I know what I want to achieve, I visualize it and I fill myself with energy to move forward. And that energy becomes more powerful when I feel the hands of the people who trust me, those who help me, those who thank me and congratulate me for what I am doing... And that energy becomes my engine when my children are proud of me. me. What more can I ask for.

And what I have realized with this reflection is that regardless of whether the birth chart makes sense or is true or not, it is up to us to see life wonderful despite the difficulties, especially if we have a goal to strive for.

So I will continue on the path of obstacles, which, although difficult, is full of hope and illusion to fight for what I undoubtedly believe: a better world.

A better world made up of good people, a world of generosity to share, a world of humility to learn, a world of understanding to understand, a world of simplicity to live, a world of cooperation and collaboration, in short, a better world for my sons.

Ariadna, Víctor, Arnau, Uri and Berta, you are the engine of my life, my children. This year I will fight like never before to take education towards an education based on respect, affection, understanding, patience and love, because I know that it is the way for your better future.

In this way, this Christmas becomes a Christmas forever. Because I know that every rock or obstacle that I find will be to get something that remains forever, a better education forever.

kitco products

KitCo Professional

Final price

119 €

Complete KitCo: Cards of Talents, Values and Emotions, with all the dynamics and games. Designed for personal development professionals or human resources. 

Professional KitCo It has two main functionalities:

(1) As a visual support tool to make your own dynamics as a professional. you have 135 cards with inspiring images on one side and the concept and definition on the other. 33 cards of talents, 50 cards of emotions and 57 letters of values. Available in several languages: Spanish, Catalan and English.

(2) As a tool to carry out different individual, groupal or team dynamics. You will find dynamics such as: discover your talents, discover your ideal profession, be aware of your genuine values ​​and how present you are in life, know the values ​​of your team or company that allow consistency in decision-making, find your «ikigai”, purpose in life, recognize and manage your emotions, dynamics of coherence with your essence, among others, etc.

Designed to carry out the dynamics from a complete reflection, converging the work of the right hemisphere (emotion, intuition) through the inspiring images of the cards, with the work of the left hemisphere (logic, reason) through the reading of the concepts and definitions.

Complete KitCo containing:

  • 33 talent cards
  • 1 talent test model
  • 57 value cards
  • 1 value test model
  • 50 emotion cards
  • 1 board – Emotional Map
  • 1 guide book of dynamics and games        (8 sets of emotions, dynamics of talents, dynamics of values, dynamics "discovering my profession", dynamics "coherence with my essence", dynamics "discovering my ikigai", Annex of talents vs professions, etc.)
  • 1 anti-stress rubber ball
  • Portable container case

Complete KitCo Video

Video of Emotions Cards

Video of “Emotional Map” Dynamic

Support video to fill in the Talent Dynamics template

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Support video to fill in the Dynamics of Values template. 

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Support video to fill in the template of the Dynamics of Coherence with Being.

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Soon new videos 🙂 

KitCo Families

Final price

89 €

Complete KitCo: Cards of Talents, Values and Emotions, with all the dynamics and games. Designed for families. The difference with respect to the professional KitCo is the way of approaching the dynamics described in Your KitCo Guide, as well as the language used. 

KitCo Families is an inspiring game to spend moments with your partner, family, friends, groups or teams that encourage the education of the self, through meaningful conversations and the practice of effective communication.

KitCo families provide a special connection between parents and childrenfriends or teams, discovering aspects of themselves and of others that they did not know and that are necessary for a life in harmony.

Until now, educational models have been based on education to acquire knowledge and skills to work. KitCo wants to introduce you in a playful, simple, creative and inspiring way to acquire knowledge and skills to be, improving satisfaction in your life with better mental health and better interpersonal relationships.

It is based on three fundamental aspects: talents, values and emotions; differentiating especially two blocks:

(i) a first playful block to play games with your partner, family, friends, group or team: game of emotions, game of values and game of talents.

(ii) a second block of reflection for individual self-knowledge with dynamics such as: discover your talents, discover your ideal profession, discover your ikigai, be aware of your genuine values that, having them present in your life, give you more satisfaction, learn to recognize the emotions in you and manage them etc.

KitCo Families contains:

  • 33 talent cards
  • 1 talent test model
  • 57 value cards
  • 1 value test model
  • 50 emotion cards
  • 1 board – Emotional Map
  • 1 guide book of dynamics and games        (8 sets of emotions, dynamics of talents, dynamics of values, dynamics "discovering my profession", dynamics "coherence with my essence", dynamics "discovering my ikigai", Annex of talents vs professions, etc.)
  • 1 anti-stress rubber ball
  • Portable container case

Complete KitCo Video

Video of Emotions Cards

Video of “Emotional Map” Dynamic

Support video to fill in the Talent template

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Support video to fill in the Values template. 

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Support video to fill in the template of the dynamics of Coherence with the Being.

NOTE: You will find this template in your link of downloadable files when making the purchase of KitCo.  

Soon new videos 🙂 

Emotions Game

Final price

35 €

KitCo with the game cards and Emotions dynamics (Talents and Values are not included).

The Emotions Game It is designed for anyone who wants to develop their emotional intelligence, or that of their children or teams. In starting by acquiring emotional language and recognizing emotions in oneself and in others in order to manage them. Improving both your mental health and interpersonal relationships.

The goal of the Emotions Game is to take a step forward in the development of emotional intelligence. To play both alone, as a couple, family, friends or team.

Contains:

  • 50 emotion cards with inspiring images on one side and the concept of emotion and its definition on the other.
  • 1 game board: Emotional Map
  • Instructions for 8 emotion games to play as a couple, family, friends or teams. For all ages, from children to teenagers and adults.
  • Individual dynamics for reflection.
  • In various languages: Spanish – English, Catalan – English, Spanish – Catalan.

The delivery time for KitCo products is from 24 to 48 hours, on working days.

Choose the language of your KitCo in the comments during the purchase process (Spanish – English, Catalan – English, Spanish – Catalan)

Sadness, a powerful agent of change, how to manage it?

Once I was asked a question in a coaching dynamic, it was the following:

“Imagine that you are a group of people you don't know and you have to catch a bus, but one person has to stay because there is no room. Without knowing anyone, who would you leave out and why?

My answer was: “someone who was negative”. And they told me: “that answer says about you, the negativity has to do with you”. I got upset and said: "What's up! But if I am the opposite of negative!

I kept thinking for days about this dynamic, I didn't know very well what it meant that the negativity had to do with me, but what I did know and I realized is that it had bothered me a lot that they told me that. And that made me understand that indeed something would have to do with me.

I reflected on it and understood what was happening to me: “I had not allowed myself to experience negativity in my life“. And not only that, but I had not allowed myself to live normally the "bad calls" (from my point of view) "negative emotions".

Without having received emotional management training, what I received from our society was that you couldn't cry, that you couldn't be weak, etc. It seemed that these kinds of feelings were negative and therefore I should not accept them in my life. So I trained myself to always be strong, to avoid bad times, hide them in a drawer in my brain and always look ahead.

I did not allow myself to live the sadness, one of those that some people call “negative emotions”. I hid it, like in the movie "Inside & Out", I didn't want it to appear.

When I trained in emotional management I learned that Emotions are information that lead us to action. And that all emotions are necessary, that there are no negative or positive emotions, but what is negative or positive is the information we get from emotions. 

So I realized that in my life I had not allowed myself to hear the voice of sadness, I had not allowed myself to hear what it wanted to tell me.  I am sure that listening to sadness on many occasions would have helped me to take action in situations that were necessary.

Luckily now I do allow myself to feel the sadness, I let it flow, I listen to it and get the useful information that allows me to take action.

A few months ago I went through personal moments of great difficulty, and I allowed myself to feel what I was feeling, the sadness.

I got ready to listen to her, I knew she had something important to tell me, to help me, like all emotions (yes, all emotions, that's why I don't like to talk about negative emotions, all emotions have something to tell us to help us, that is the magic of emotional management, extracting useful information from it and knowing how to take action); so I did a self-coaching process.

I asked myself the questions and answered them by writing on a piece of paper, this is what I wrote:

(more…)

What is your value proposition? This is how I discovered my ikigai, my purpose, my value proposition.

I remember and will remember all my life a personal development exercise that I set out to do years ago, in which they asked: what do you know how to do?

And from my heart I am ashamed to tell you what I answered, they are very intimate and private things that are difficult to explain, but I think that the examples of people's stories can help other people, and that is how I prepare to write each article that I do, with the intention of helping, or being able to inspire, even if it's just one person. I answered: "play basketball"; he knew the rules of basketball, he had learned to defend, to bounce the ball well, to shoot a basket, etc. I felt like I knew what I was doing in basketball. But as much as I tried to find another answer, I couldn't find it. I remembered that my family said that I was good at painting, but I wasn't very convinced either. That day I felt pain and sadness, because I was not able to answer anything else. I had studied an Engineering career but I did not know how to identify if I had learned something or what I had learned in the degree, not even in my job.

I like and I liked to watch TED Talk talks, surely you know them, these talks are based on storytelling in many cases of people's life experience. I felt great admiration for these people who had managed to extract useful information from their life experience. And I was wondering... If you had to do a TED Talk, what would you say? And nothing came to me, nothing. What a feeling of emptiness I felt.

Thus, among other circumstances of my life, is how I realized that I had been on autopilot all these years, without stopping to think who was I, what was I good at doing, what was my value proposition to society or the world. And I started to work on my self-awareness.

In this way the book of the "Ikigai, the secrets of Japan for a long and happy life" by Héctor García and Frances Miralles. I loved this concept, I loved knowing that each one of us has a “reason to be”, I translate it into a value proposition for society or the world.

I felt that I had to try to find it, I was not going to become obsessed, I knew that only the process of looking for it could enrich me as a person. So I got ready for it. Doing it is not an easy process and requires a lot of patience and exploration time, but you know what? With this process I felt alive, I felt that I was listening to myself for the first time, I felt that I was loving myself doing what I was doing. I didn't think about the result, because I wasn't sure if I would be able to find my ikigai either, I enjoyed the process. And yes, I found my ikigai, but if you are willing to try it, please, enjoy the process of self-knowledge, of self-discovery, with that you will feel that you are loving yourself and it will help you mark a before and after, without a doubt to improve your satisfaction and motivation in life.

How was the process of finding my ikigai?

I have been asked by several people to describe how I went through this process in case it helps. So with shame but illusion of being able to inspire or help other people, I describe my process of realizing the dynamics of ikigai.

(more…)

Letter to my teenage daughter to accompany her on the subject of alcohol.

Honey, I understand that you are encountering or may soon encounter new situations that require you to make important decisions, such as the issue of alcohol. It would be useless for me to tell you not to drink, because you would not understand what I really want to convey to you; and in the end, either you would probably end up drinking and not telling me, or maybe you wouldn't drink for me, when it should be for you.

In previous generations we were not lucky enough to have neuroscientific information at our fingertips that would allow us to know the effects of alcohol on the brain in adolescence. Most of us had no more information than the misfortunes of serious accidents that can occur if you drink; and many times we blamed it on bad luck.

And what I would like to inform you is that beyond bad luck or not, there is a neuroscientific explanation that tells us what happens in the brain with alcohol in adolescence and the effects it can have on your life.

Let me show you this book: The Teenage Brain – Frances E. Jensen,  and this University of Navarra video on the adolescent brain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAOdnS39HiQ.)

This information has made me understand many things regarding the accompaniment of a teenage child in general. And I want to start by apologizing to you, now I am better able to understand your behavior and have more patience. Now I know that I can accompany you better, and I feel happy about it. 

    • Prefrontal part of the brain of an adolescent

Your brain is under construction and as such, the prefrontal part, the part of analyzing risks, planning, thinking clearly and making decisions, etc. which does not finish its maturation process until beyond 21 years of age. The fact that it is under construction implies that the wiring, the neural connections to this prefrontal part, sometimes work and sometimes not. So according to this neuroscientific information, sometimes your brain is prepared to be responsible and sometimes not, and it wasn't fair that I expected you to always be responsible, I'm sorry, honey. 

That this part of the brain, so important for analyzing risks, is under construction implies that If one day you decide to drink alcohol and lose control drinking, your life will depend on your colleagues who will be in the same maturational brain stage as you.

And not because they are not good companions, but because they simply do not have this prefrontal part of the brain mature, they are probably not trained to make the best decisions about your health. What can imply that the fear of the anger of the parents / mothers prevents urgent measures to be taken to safeguard your life.

(more…)

When your 6-year-old son asks you to help him improve the world

If you are a father or a mother and you think that to be a father or a mother you do not have to train, if you think that what you do is already good and that you need to learn little or nothing to better educate and accompany your children, I ask you, please , on behalf of my 6-year-old son Arnau, that you read this article. 

A few weeks ago I was doing a job with the “canva” program. A program for designing presentations, publications on social networks, etc. that if you do not know I recommend you for being very easy, creative and intuitive. In this program, every time you download your work, an inspiring phrase appears that I usually read carefully.

I had my 6-year-old son Arnau on top of me, he usually likes to help me with my creative work. This time, making him a part of my work process, I read the inspiring phrase out loud: "Only the crazy ones who believe they can change the world are the ones who succeed." Steve Jobs.

I remained thoughtful, there was silence for a moment, I looked at Arnau who was in my arms, I looked at his face, he was looking at me without saying anything, he was just like me, observing in the silence. When I finally told her: "Well, honey, I must be crazy, because I want to change the world for the better." And I asked him: “Would you like to change the world for the better? He replied: "I do want to change the world for the better" and following the conversation I asked him: what do you think it takes to make a better world?

That moment became magical, it became one of those moments engraved in the heart, of those that you know that the day you disappear from this world will be part of your thoughts, and of those that make you fight for what you fight for every day.

Arnau, my recently turned 6-year-old son, answered: "Teach parents as they should teach their children." I have not changed a single word of what he said, as was his answer: "teach parents as they should teach their children." Arnau sensed that I wanted to know more, and immediately afterwards he told me: "Mommy, when I do something wrong, you teach me but you don't make me feel bad, and I learn and I don't feel bad, I feel good."

I don't know how to express what I felt, it was a mix between hope and pain. Hope because you know that part of what your life mission is makes sense, learning to educate and accompany my children, and pass on what you have learned in case it can be of use to other people. And pain to hear how a 6-year-old child, far from what we can think, values the importance of how parents teach (in their vocabulary), educate and accompany (in mine 😊) their children.

I want to be the voice of my son, I want to raise my voice loudly on his behalf, and that is why I have decided to write this article.

Father or mother who think that to educate and accompany your children you do not have to train, I hope you have come this far and you want to continue reading, I hope pYou can sow a seed in yourself, a seed that one day you will make bloom for yourself, for the good of your children, for a better world.. Making that seed flourish will not be an easy road, You'll have to get out of your comfort zone you will discover things about yourself that will hurt you, but that courage will be your power, a power that will allow you to accompany your children so that they are the best version of themselves, just like that, the best version of themselves.

(more…)

What happens when we love too much?

What do you feel when reading this title?

If you feel curious and you may even feel some pain or sadness, I understand you. This is how I felt a few years ago when the book of Robin Norwood: "Women Who Love Too Much". He talks about women, but I don't think it's a matter of gender, nor of age, it just happens, we suffer when we love too much. 

When being in love means suffering, it is that we are loving too much. When this person occupies your thoughts most of the time, it is that we are loving too much. When our goal is that he or she wants to be with us, it is that we are loving too much. When we feel that he or she controls our emotions and much of our behavior, we are loving too much. When we understand that this behavior has a negative influence on our health and well-being, but we have a hard time getting rid of it, we are loving too much. 

If you have felt identified so far, I want to help you or inspire you with my own lived experience.  I drastically summarize the solution: learn to love yourself. 

I know it's painful to hear this drastic statement, in fact, I read it and I feel like crying because of the vivid memories. Because you know what?  I thought I loved myself enough until I learned what it was like to really love yourself. 

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Do you ask questions for your children or for yourself?

Have you stopped to think about how you ask questions to your teenage son? This was my reflection when I entered the world of coaching. Coaching is a tool that allows reflection and decision-making from our being. It uses a methodology based on powerful questions, questions asked with a certain structure that leads us to analysis and the search for answers within ourselves.

Coaching taught me to know how to ask, to know why I was asking questions, but above all, who I was asking questions for. And that is why I realized that when I asked my 14-year-old daughter Ariadna (in the photo with me :)) she did it for me, she asked to let me know and to be able to help my daughter to know what is right or what it's bad for your life. Until coaching taught me that the best help I can give my daughter is that she herself, with her reflection and response inside her, realizes what she deserves in life and the risks or benefits that can have depending on what decisions you make.

“Get ready to ask questions for your children and you will discover the empowerment in their personal development”

So I changed the way I asked her questions and communicated with her, I put aside my mental map and dedicated myself to asking her questions for her, so that she knows how to make her own decisions knowing the risks or benefits that may entail. , being her own advice for her the ones that have the most strength.

It is amazing the power we give our children when we ask for them. It is surprising the impact that we generate in them when they themselves are the ones who advise themselves or give their own answers, when it comes from within. Sometimes with certain questions that lead to reflection, they may not answer us, but the seed will be planted, the reflection will have begun, and that reflection will be for them, not for us.

In the adolescent age it is quite common that our children do not consider or internalize our advice; advice that usually goes in a direction contrary to what they need... they need to fly and we need to protect them... and it is difficult for us to connect with them or help them.

Think about what you are reading and get ready to start asking questions for them and not for yourself.

Some examples:

(i) Your daughter is starting to go out with a boy who you think might hurt her or lead her astray. What would you do?

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The importance of the emotional brain in our children

 

Your child's brain as a baby already has practically all the neurons it will have when it grows up. The main difference between your children's brain and yours is that yours has already developed trillions of connections (sympases) between neurons thanks to learning from its life experience.

In the brain of your son or daughter, the reptilian and emotional brain (located in the lower part of the brain) are the ones that take the lead, while in yours the rational brain also intervenes, located in the upper part of the brain, the of the brain that takes longer to mature.

The brain is made up of four parts, differentiating between the upper zone and the lower zone. The upper zone is a more evolved brain and gives us a broader perspective of life. Thoughts, imagination and planning are developed in this area. The lower brain deals with basic functions (such as breathing and blinking), innate reactions and impulses (such as fight or flight), and basic emotions (such as fear and anger). It is the most primitive area of the brain, which does not take into account the feelings of others.

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How are the organizational charts of companies changing and how does this imply that we work on our self-knowledge?

The best known organizational structure to date has been the vertical hierarchical structure.  This hierarchical pyramidal structure is marked by authority, with responsibility and decisions falling especially on the top of the pyramid. 

Although it has been a structure that has been adapted by all types of companies, both production and service, the hierarchical structure is designed for jobs with clear and repetitive processes, with stable environments. It is characterized by being a productive and efficient structure in jobs that do not require innovation or creation, but only production. This would be the case, for example, of industrial production chains.

But, What is happening right now that you need to know?

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“I have been wrong non-stop since 1999”.

My professional career has been, until recently, a succession of wrong decisions. One after the other. I could even put a slogan on it “making mistakes non-stop since 1999”. I have also had successes and joys, but my work has always been in a second (or third or fourth…) plane in my life as a whole.

In fact this is the first and main mistake I made. And this error is the one that triggered all the others:  I shouldn't have separated work from my life.

I explain.

About five years ago I discovered Coaching. I was lost professionally. I knew what I didn't want (continue to do the same thing) but not what I wanted.

Coaching helped me to have a systemic vision of my life. In that process we didn't just talk about work. We talk about values, interests, pleasure, hobbies, my family, my friends, fears, joys. We also talk about work of course, but in a way that I didn't know. Looking inside myself and taking into account not only skills, salaries or opportunities, but many other things that, until now, I thought had nothing to do with work.

Now I know that surely nothing I do professionally is going to work well in the long term if it is not aligned with the rest of my life. Basically with three aspects: my values, my talents and my emotions.

Commonly, there has always been a tendency to classify certain professions as "vocational" (doctors or nurses, police or military, firefighters, politicians, teachers, etc.), but what if it turns out that all professions are?

If your work is aligned with your values and talents, your work will be a piece that will perfectly complement the rest of the aspects of your life..

If I had worked on self-knowledge, or put myself in the hands of a coach when I was a teenager, my path would probably have been more pleasant.

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Ikigai, a simple word... and what great meaning it can give to your life

I remember that day years ago at the train station, on one of those trips that my work took me on. He used to go into the kiosks at the station to look at the books, and many times he ended up buying one.

One day I entered a store of things and clothes designed for traveling people. I noticed that there was a book section and I went straight there. The title especially caught my attention: “ikigai, the secrets of Japan for a long and happy life”.

ikigai, that word that I did not know, to begin with, it sounded nice and intriguing to me. So I decided to buy the book.

It is based on finding the reasons why the island of Okinawa, in Japan, has the highest longevity and happiness in the world. In addition to food, the simple life in the open air, etc. one of the keys seems to be the ikigai that rules his life.

According to the Japanese, all of us have our ikigai, which some philosophers translate as our “reason for being”, or “life purpose”.. Ikigai is within us and exploration requires deep and patient work to find it.

Ikigai is represented as a mandala of four circles as you can see in the figure below:

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